our voice.
our future.
WHO AM I?
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I am Michelle Vann
MY ANCESTORS WILDEST DREAMS

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I chose this image because it is the only visual memory I have of my grandfather. He still lives on with stories from my dad and family but this photo is still part of my family history.
I was born in America but my parents and ancestors were born in Cambodia and Vietnam. They have endured things I could not possibly imagine going through.
My dad’s side of the family and the people of Cambodia experienced the brute violence of the Khmer Rouge during the Cambodian Genocide. The Khmer Rouge was the militia under the Marxist leader Pol Pot. Who’s regime caused 1.7 to 2.2 million deaths of his own people.
The communist group had been trying to get hold since the 1930s but it all came into place when they claimed to “fight for Prince Norodom” gaining the trust of the rest of the population. However, they overthrew the prince and came into power. With swift action and deception, the Khmer Rouge were in control.
The US bombed the countrysides of Cambodia and they used this as an excuse for their politics. They invaded the city of Phnom Penh and tricked the people of the city into evacuating. Little did the people know they were walking into a life of death and fear.
Anyone who lived in the city had an education, or worked for the government was seen as an enemy and was executed. My grandfather, who was a military leader, was killed during Pol Pot’s regime. My family had to hide anything that would hint at their class or education to avoid being killed. Things didn’t get any better after that. They were forced into extensive labor and starved into the brink of death. Many people died from overwork, starvation, torture, and executions.
The people of Cambodia were told that they meant nothing as individuals, to “destroy them is no loss.” They were taught that they were insignificant. “According to Angka Loeu, each person should aspire to be like a grain of rice in a huge bowl - no different from any other grain and insignificant by itself.”(90) Those who obeyed and made no threat to “Angka” were favored as leaders. The Khmer Rouge made sure to get rid of anyone who could start a revolution or had the knowledge to. The children were put into programs to re-educate them to reform to this new system. Young minds are mold-able like clay, they were the main targets. A “brighter future” promised to the people, but never made.
The Khmer rouge’s regime ended when the Vietnamese overthrew them giving the Cambodian people the chance to escape to refugee camps in Thailand. Many of them died trying to get to them though. Those who did survive immigrated to American with sponsors like my family.
The X is hXstory is for…
...the victims of war and oppression who’s stories go untold. The underrepresented and the non dominant cultures. It is for my community for there is no ‘me’ in this fight we fight together.
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My X in my hXstory is for…
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...the americanized Asian Americans who also struggle to stay in touch with their culture and heritage. An Asian American who can’t even speak their parent’s native language. An Asian American who grew up wanting to be and look like the unreachable dominant beauty standard. Who eventually grew to love the features she was born with and appreciated the culture of her heritage.
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My X in my hXstory is for…
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...my ancestors and family who were forced to immigrate to escape wars. Coming to America with the false hope of living the “American Dream.” My parents who constantly put my life in front of theirs. Trying to create a better life for their daughter and better opportunities in this unjust world.
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My X in my hXstory is for…
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...the people I hold close to my heart. The reason I am doing this all. My best friends who have been the people I can confide in and feel like myself. My mom who is always so understanding and supportive. It is for the fight for a better future for those I love and those to come. It is for the future generations.
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My X in my hXstory is for…
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...my insecurities and hidden emotions I keep from the world. It’s for the struggle to maintain self care because my mental health is just as important as my physical well being.
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My X in my hXstory is for…
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...empathetic and sensitive heart. It is my strength but also my weakness.
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My hXstory is...
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...struggling with my cultural identity. It is the journey of self love and self acceptance. It is the legacy I am continuing to make and my ancestor’s history I help keep alive. My hXstory is my passion to make a change and help my community.